Unity in Conflict: Wrestling with God & Making Peace
Pastor Calvary deJong, April 26th, 2026
Introduction: Unity Sounds Good Until Somebody Crosses the Line
How many of you grew up with a sibling, and how many of you could honestly say that relationship was always peaceful?
I was the firstborn in my family, and my sister Hosanna was born only about eighteen months later. But then there was a ten-year gap between me and my younger brother, which meant that for most of our growing-up years, it was just me and my sister. And as you might expect, that resulted in a certain amount of sibling rivalry.
I can still remember Sunday morning drives to church in our old Chevy Malibu. It was about a half-hour and that back bench seat place became ground zero for some surprisingly intense territorial disputes. Inevitably one of us would whine: “Mom, Dad, they are on my side of the back seat.” And what began as tattletaling would often escalate into poking back and forth, and I distinctly remember one of these exchanges escalating until my sister finally declared, “You cannot hit me, I am a girl,” to which I responded with complete confidence, “You’re not a girl, you’re my sister!”
It is amusing to look back on those moments, but it reveals something: when it comes to relationships, we often reserve some of our worst behaviour for the people we are closest to. This is often true within families, and if we are honest, sometimes it can even be true within the family of God!
This brings us to an important question. If as a learned earlier in our series, conflict is a natural and unavoidable part of our relationships, how do we move toward the kind of unity that Jesus prayed for? Jesus prays that His followers would be one, not because he expected that all conflict will disappear, but because unity is meant to endure even in the presence of conflict. This is where the biblical story of Jacob is relevant for us today, because it models for us how conflict isn’t just a reality, but can actually become the place where we wrestle with God and learn how to make peace.
Wrestling With God & Making Peace
1) Genesis 32:24 tells us that “Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.” This moment is significant because Jacob has spent his entire life trying to control outcomes and secure blessing through his own efforts. You might recall, how he manipulated Esau out of his birthright in Genesis 25, deceived his father Isaac in Genesis 27 to get the spiritual blessing, and then spent years toiling for Laban in Genesis 29 to 31 to win his daughters’ hand, becoming the trickster who was himself tricked.
Yet now, on the eve of facing Esau, the brother he wronged decades earlier, Jacob finds himself in a situation where no strategy can save him. He is stripped of his usual tools, left vulnerable and exposed. What will Esau do to him? His desperation reads like the setup for a divine encounter, a moment where God breaks into human experience. From an Anabaptist lens, it marks the beginning of true discipleship, where his self-reliance collapses and dependence on God begins. It is often only when we run out of strategies that we become open to encountering God in a transformative way.
2) The text initially describes Jacob’s opponent simply as a man, yet by the end of the passage Jacob declares, “I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared” (Genesis 32:30). This has long been understood as a theophany, a visible manifestation of God, and many interpreters have even seen here a pre-incarnate appearance of Christ. What is striking, however, is not only who this figure is, but how He engages Jacob. God does not merely deliver a message like other divine messengers in the Old Testament; instead, He wrestles him. This is not a passive encounter, but a deeply relational struggle in which God meets Jacob in the very arena of his striving. The encounter leaves a permanent mark, as the text notes that Jacob’s hip is wrenched so that “he was limping because of his hip” (Genesis 32:31). This wound both ends Jacob’s illusion of control and marks him for the rest of his life. Encounters with God are not simply emotional experiences; they are transformative and often costly, reshaping how a person walks forward.
3) In the midst of the struggle, God asks Jacob a question that on the surface, seems a little odd: “What is your name?” (Genesis 32:27). This is not a request for information. Rather, Jacob must speak the truth about himself, acknowledging his identity as one whose name means deceiver, supplanter, and manipulator. Before transformation can occur, there must be honesty. One cannot receive a new identity while clinging to a false one. It is only after Jacob names himself truthfully that God declares, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome” (Genesis 32:28). The name Israel means one who wrestles with God, or one through whom God prevails. Jacob is renamed as one whose identity is now rooted in relationship with God rather than defined by his past behavior. This transformation prepares Jacob for what comes next, as he walks out towards Esau, not in his own strength, but in weakness.
4) The text makes clear that Jacob approaches his brother with humility, bowing to the ground seven times as he draws near (Genesis 33:3), still carrying the fear of retaliation that had built up over twenty years of separation. Yet the outcome is entirely different from what Jacob expects. Instead of violence, “Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept” (Genesis 33:4). This unexpected peace suggests that something deeper has shifted, not only in Jacob, but in this brother Esau. The encounter with God has altered the trajectory of the conflict. It demonstrates that wrestling with God is not only an end in itself, but leads outwardly toward reconciliation with others. In other words, one cannot truly encounter God and remain unchanged in how they relate to people, because the transformation that begins in the presence of God finds its expression in the pursuit of peace.
A Gospel Invitation & A Vision for Unity
This is a moment in Jacob’s story that we cannot skip past, because it brings us right to the heart of the gospel. Jacob does not simply survive the encounter with God; he is changed by it, and that change reshapes how he steps back into his relationships. This is where the invitation comes to us, because the same God who wrestled with Jacob is the God who meets us in Christ.
If we are honest, many of us have learned how to manage conflict in ways that avoid real transformation. I remember being somewhere around ten or eleven years old at summer camp, and there was a bit of conflict between myself and another camper. Our counselor knew both of us from boys’ club at our church, and so after talking it through, he told us we needed to apologize and “hug it out.” That felt incredibly awkward for two young boys, so we walked toward each other, bumped shoulders, and considered the job done. Our camp counselor said, “Good enough,” and we went back to chapel.
That kind of surface-level reconciliation may be enough to get through the day, but it is not the kind of heart transformation God is calling us into. It is possible to perform the right words without any real change of heart. It is possible to maintain the appearance of peace while avoiding the deeper work of humility and restoration. What Jacob experiences, and what the gospel calls us toward, is something far more profound.
The good news is that we do not have to manufacture this kind of change on our own. In Jesus Christ, we see the ultimate expression of what it means to make peace. Jesus does not simply tell us to reconcile; He embodies reconciliation. While we were still estranged, while we were still resistant and even hostile, Christ gave Himself for us. He died not only for friends who loved Him, but for enemies who mocked Him. This is the pattern of a Jesus-centered life, and it means that we are called to do relationships differently.
The Big Idea is this: God will sometimes wrestle with you to break what is false, to rename what is true, and to send you back into the world as a person of peace. A true encounter with God results in a new identity, a humbled posture, and reconciled relationships. It changes not only how we see God, but how we see one another.
So, the invitation is simple, but it is not easy. Where is God inviting you to start surrendering? Where is He calling you to be honest about what needs to change in you before you try to fix what is “wrong” in someone else? And where is He sending you back into a relationship, not in pride but in humility, seeking peace in the name of Jesus?
Because the mark of having met God is not that you stand taller, but that you walk with a limb.